Stars are Purple

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2010-05-28T10:12:00.002-07:00

I've moved to tumblr
tumblr

we all need a fresh start sometime

okay i lied

2010-02-15T18:40:00.001-07:00

I've thought about writing a lot but I kind of like keeping everything inside my head. I'm weird (you would've guessed that one on your own). But I find myself stuck. I feel like there's that blue gooey candy in a tube on the side walk and i keep getting it on my flip flops, and with every step I take the goo wears off but there's still some stuck to the bottom of my shoe. longest analogy ever. Every day grows so different. Some people complain of long boring repetitive days, but I only wish for that. No, its not like my life is some sort of vortex and every morning I don't know where I might end up, but new challenges spring up every day. This will do me some good in the long run.
I had my annual California trip with dance at the beginning of February, and I observed quite a lot this time around. The girls from the other schools (for the most part) just don't get it. Coming up in a week or so is Cougartown. ahhhh - a sigh of relief. This year I am a counselor and I feel like this a a huge responsibility, but one I can bear the weight of. My toes are tingling to go.
Today the doctor said I have a Type A personality. Oh, I thought I was going to a doctor with an MD not a PhD. But hmm, thanks for the info. Wow this sentence just clarifies that I AM a type a. I don't like the tests that they're making me do. It scares me, it really does. I'm disappointed in myself - I'm supposed to go through my life without any serious diseases and you're trying to tell me there might be something wrong?

It scares me shitless.

oh, hai

2010-01-09T17:58:00.001-07:00

ive missed you. i miss THIS.
lets start 2010 off with a big promise and say that im going to blog at least once a week.
i dont even want to summerize 2009 up, too much too much.
ive changed quite a bit, but much is still the same. i find myself to be one big contradiction at times. no longer am i a rebellious teenager, which is a very big accomplishment on my part. my parents are proud hah. ive done a complete 180 from how i was over summer or even in the beginning of december. i really think the people i let into my universe have a lot to do with my actions, but they cant be entirely to blame. i find myself in my own world a lot of the time now. its much better than the dull reality my peers have got going on.

so now i leave you with a picture in which i look like an alien

until next time,
- anne marie.

coldest story ever told.

2009-08-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

that last post makes me mad. i hate capitalizing things. i have a lot of resentment right now. and im not sure if thats even the right word for how i feel. i just need to write right now. put my thoughts out there. because i dont feel like wasting paper and ink. i always write in sentence fragments. not sure why. i sometimes dont finish my sentences when im actually speaking either.

tonight is the first night ive actually been lonely in a very very long time. even when i was confined to nothingness over summer, i still wasnt lonely - i didnt even want to see anyone. but now, i just want to be surrounded by people. only certain people though. ive always been very independent. but now, i want more than anything to just mingle with the crowd. its a weird change. but i think its a good change. i could go a weekend with just staying at home, but now i feel like i HAVE to be out. i just want to leave the nest. fly with the sparrow. its a metaphor.

maybe me wanting to be surrounded by people, is really me becoming even more independent.

sitting on the dock

2009-07-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

i tend to drift away from things quite easily.
i abandoned this blog,
which is something i never wanted to do.

my world is changed,
and i feel i am no longer the person i once was.
okey that's just me being dramatic

im lost in the ocean
and i need a tug boat to slowly
pull me back to shore.

reach me here:
www.myspace.com/annemariepwns

im not abandoning this babyblog ive created,
any longer ♥

skiddly dooo

2009-06-05T17:27:00.000-07:00

I think that possibly
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yes There's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you
I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too
Because Oh Because
I've fallen quite hard over you
If I didn't know you I'd rather not know
If I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone

- Falling in love at a Coffee Shop, Landon Pigg

That's been my expression lately, like "uhhhh.. wow"
Don't mind the idiot on the right <3

i gotz them butterflies like no other sukka. What if I talked gangsta all the time?

2009-06-02T23:06:00.000-07:00

Grin and bare it. That's my moto for the day.

what is this

2009-06-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

In the past 4 days I've gotten less than ten hours of sleep.
This can lead to delirium, agitation, and pure happiness.
Stay awake for multiple days straight with caution.
You'll end up extremely happy like this:
Quite possibly like this:

Boy you two kinds of crazy. (i say that way too often)

Things have gone 180 since my last post. Goodgoodgood. *knock on wood*

* wow the day just went from a level 4 to like level 20!!

2009-05-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

Today I got back from California. The whole time we were there I was dying to come back home. I didn't enjoy and soak in our vacation, because I was anxious to come back to Arizona. I was happy to come home at first, but now I want more than anything to get away. I take my family for granted.
I'm going to my friend's house in a little bit. Her goofy ways can cheer me up.

Home is where the heart is. Hearts get hurt. It's better to stay away from home, where you wear your heart on your sleeve.

a wise man

2009-05-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

"Just wait a while. It'll happen."
- a wise man. :)

If there's one thing I need to learn in life, it's to have patience and some faith in people. I always look for the worst outcome of a situation, when in reality things aren't even that bad. I just need to calm down and wait. wait. wait.
Plus I need to give myself some credit. low self esteem.

I'm working on everything.

school's out. Let the games begin.

that's what you get

2009-05-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

i cant promise you anything
i know yeah i'm slow
i sleep the best in cold
dreams are the place to be
- Saturday by chris Garneau

whywhywhy. I just want the year to be over. Two more days. This is a little view of how the days have been going. (the one above included) Wow. The most relevant song just came on. Eff you Relient K.

who i am hates who I've been

Make it happen. But how? Get over it, and move one.
I want to be frank and tell you this statement above.

Hi, I'm Frank. I wish..

I sound legitimately crazy. I'm not i swear.

ouch

2009-05-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

I know that I've been dancing around the truth
Tell me what the hell I'm suppose to do
I'm a little bit agitated
With a slight scent of denial
- Nevershoutnever.

Exactly.

hmm

2009-05-15T18:54:00.001-07:00

younger
older
close friend
party friend
beautiful
just alright

oh the choices. It makes my heart thump.

it's a bipolar kind of day

2009-05-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up at 4:30 and almost started getting ready for school. But I forced myself back to sleep and had a dream I was using bleach to brush my teeth. I looked up what the meaning of bleach was in my dream dictionary, and it makes sense.

]In dance we were doing a seance in the auditorium. It really didn't scare me because nothing happened. People had bad energy in the room.

During lunch me and my friend just sat stagnant. But then her boyfriend came over and she got all googly eyed with love and I got depressed. I honestly didn't get jealous, but it was more like I was so happy that she could STILL have those special feelings 8 months into their relationship. It gave me hope for the world. haha

Then at the beginning of math I started crying because I was so overcome with emotion and I feel so lonely (not friend wise). Then I was laughing because I finally admitted to myself that I am lonesome.

I came home had a screaming match with my mom and then went to sleep.
Woke up and went to a party for dance with the ones I love. ♥
We play dress up when we aren't summoning ghosts in dance.

por que?

2009-05-12T21:33:00.001-07:00

My brother just came into my room and sang
"wake up. wake up. the war is over."
[no referance to the actual war going on]

with a big smile on his face. what an odd boy.

With this face is how I get the men

2009-05-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

This is how I feel about school and finals right now: Why do teachers choose the worst weekends to assign projects?

Ok ok I have to go back to writing my cultural research paper on Slovenia.
But wait, I'm getting distracted as I type this very sentence by a show about sex appeal. It's a scientific study. Oooo lala.

I feel like I neglect my blog when blogger home not set at my homepage.

Oh, and and while we're on the topic of sex appeal (i guess), would you ever date someone who's a year younger than you and your friends are telling you not to because he's in a grade lower?
Not that it pertains to me or anything wait what?

I have too many facial expressions.

oops

2009-05-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

I kind of just got hair dye all over a cabinet, and it won't come off.
I'll figure it out once I wash it out of my hair. uhhhht oh.
Dance show is tomorrow. So excited, but kind of nervous, but not really. I should be used to it by now, since I've been doing it for so long.

figure out how to get stains off of cabinets for me.

Find me a gentleman like him

2009-05-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

2009-05-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

I hate memories they make my heart hurt, and it's hard to shake them off

This week is going to DRAIN me. The recital for dance is thursday and friday, and I have to spend the whole week getting ready.
Tomorrow I have to go to school at 7 and stay until 9 o'clock at night for dress rehearsal.. why?! School can just go away forever.

Im probably just going to sleep from 3 to 6 in the auditorium then pull myself together to dance from 6 to 9. shizznit.

p.s. it was a good weekend <3

im the baby gotta love me

2009-04-29T18:46:00.002-07:00

why remembers the show Dinosaurs? I was only like 2 years old when this was on, but I vaguely remember it.

I lied

2009-04-28T18:31:00.001-07:00

I don't have a sinus infection. Praise the lord.

diagnostic procedure of a 16 year old

2009-04-27T20:51:00.001-07:00

"My face hurts"

I've been saying that for the past few days and I finally remembered why:
SINUSITIS. It happened last year, and it came back again this year.

My parents get mad because I'm "always sick." However, the doctor last year said that it will keep coming back unless I continure treating it - which I haven't.

TMI:
my eyes are REDREDRED and draining out stuff and this picture explains why:

The naso-lacrimal ducts are connected to the interior turbinate. And they also connect to the lacrimal sac. Therefore the stuff from my nose is coming out of my eyes. That's nasty.

I watch too much House. and I feel like every other word from the above paragraph is spelled wrong. What a genius.

Betty freakin Crocker

2009-04-26T13:50:00.002-07:00

Today I had to bake 36 cupcakes for a class assignment. I never want to eat raw batter again. Hoewever, I think they turned out really really good! If a bakery was hiring for a summer job, I'd take it.

This one's my favorite looking: So I've noticed that I really like wearing green and teals lately. This dress I got from Forever 21 is SO comfortable and fits my small lady parts perfectly.Sometimes I despise shopping because dresses are always so loose over my shoulders, and I don't like wearing undershirts. But this one is just great (its the one im wearing in my header).

Another dress that I'm fond of:Deliciousness (they're also in green packaging by coincidence):

* added like a billion hours later: face chart I just finished.
I feel so proud ;)

im an underaged love rock

2009-04-25T19:36:00.001-07:00

I stuck to my word and went to MAC today. I feel accomplished, because I don't really follow through with things I say I'm going to do. LAME.
I got a Grande Duo blush in Love Rock and a lipglass in Underage

I highly highly highly recommed both of these products.
*but if you have very light skin, you might prefer the Grand Duo in Moonriver (below)

(i love both of the grand duos i have <3)

i dreamt of

2009-04-24T20:16:00.001-07:00

MAC products last night. Not even lying. Particularly
Wait.. would it be "dreamt of" or "dreamed of"?
Especially the Peppermint Patti nail polish that's sold out. *tears*

It's a sign that I need to go get some things I've been eyeballing lately.
I seriously could spend over an hour on the website just drooling.
So, tomorrow I'm going to march my little butt into Dillard's (since there's not an actual MAC store close by), and buy whatever my heart desires. Ok maybe not everything my heart desires, because then I will go broke.

bland.

2009-04-23T22:38:00.001-07:00

like an oatmeal raisin cookie. but oh so delicious.

it makes me smile

2009-04-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

I'M HAPPY KNOWIN' THAT YOU ARE MINE
THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE
THE MORE I THINK THE MORE I WISH
THAT WE COULD JUST LIE FOR HOURS AND
JUST REMINISCE, A OO OO.

- Cristopher Drew, Nevershoutnever

best post ever.. maybe. maybe not;

2009-04-21T23:13:00.001-07:00

Let me just say that my throat and head hurts so bad. It's just pulsing like the energizer bunny is beating my face in.
On a happier note, I had to dance in a Broadway choir show today.My friend (on the right) is a hippie and I love her. We're double the trouble when we're together. Actually, we cannot go a day without laughing and appreciating each other's company. I love my dance friends more than any other friends. They understand me better. Oh what the heck, no one understands my ways of thinking. But I'm ok with that because life is like a box of chocolates.

Writing the first sentence of this post made me realize that I complain A LOT. It needs to stop because I don't intentionally mean to do it. Complaining just kind of happens.

Why am I still awake at 11 o'clock on a school night?
- School doesn't start until 11:20 tomorrow.

What kind of schooling system allows high schoolers to go to school for only THREE hours? and then we don't even have school Friday. wow.

Who get's mad about that? me. Why? because my head is pounding and I have Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson stuck in my head.

Big Edie (from Grey Gardens) has words of wisdom for me:

Edith "Big Edie" Bouvier Beale: Will you shut up? It's a goddamn beautiful day, shut up!

true story

2009-04-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

see more Funny Graphs

If one more picture gets cut off I'm going to cut someone.

THE KEY ON THE SIDE SAYS:
waiting for computer to read floppy disk
being afflicted with dysentery
learning
killing three tons of buffalo and squirrels

who else agrees?

2009-04-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

I don't feel well at all. he's a cute little snail though, so that makes up for it I guess.
I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. eff.

technology makes life complicated

2009-04-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like watching Skins, but noooooo the series has to be over until 2010. correct me if I'm wrong.
I am super tired right now, but it's like a 10 minute bump that I have to get through, and then I'll be able to stay up for quite some time. Make sense?
Tomorrow I have to dance at an Arts Festival, and I really don't want to.

Nothing new has really been happening.

WOAH NELLIE!!! right after I typed that, I got a text from someone who I talked to like a year ago. That's awkaward.

I need sleep

2009-04-16T20:59:00.002-07:00

I just read through 19 pages of Perez Hilton. What has the world come to?

and I will bow humbly

2009-04-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

I have no clue what to write about.

failure.

The one where I get mushy

2009-04-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

I love my friends with all my heart - the ones that stand by you through everything, and seeing them is the best part of the day. The ones who aren't afraid to be affectionate in public, because they don't care what others think. It's nice to know that they're also gotten past the point of caring caring caring.
It also helps that they're two years older than me, because they share experience of their past. They're a good influence on me, but not when we act a fool and people give us dirty looks. haha
Some people just don't understand the love we share. I hope one day the people who give us dirty looks can feel what we feel and finally be like "ok i get it".

"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart."

"Friends are the sunshine of life." -- John Hay (1871)

"True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eye."

lazy dressing dramatic face

2009-04-13T18:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt like getting dressed in days. Yet I do my make up all elaborate. My make up over rides my clothing these days. How can someone be too lazy to get dressed, but have the energy to apply a full face of makeup? Radonculous.
I really want to go to beauty school, but its an unrealistic dream. I'll end up being a pharmacist or radiologist.
I'm going back to being a vegetarian against raven's advice ;). I felt guilty whenever I ate meat, and I ust feel healthier when I dont eat it.
One thing I cannot kick is junk food. It'll never go away. Oh well I'll live with it.

they all know

2009-04-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

Easter is not the focus of this post. I just saw Knowing with Nicholas Cage, and holy bejeezus!! Some things kind of killed it for me, but woah nellie.

My stomach is concaving itself

2009-04-10T19:04:00.000-07:00

During dance I felt like I was going to kneel over and die. I basically did. My hair's becoming a beast, but I love it. (that was during dance)

I need to stop eating junk food. It's getting really bad, and the results will show one day. Motivate me. I used to be a good vegitarian, but I think im going through a growth spurt, so I need to stock up on eating.

Today was crap. Things irritate me. Especially pizzahut. Their online ordering ticks me off.

I'm a rebel

2009-04-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today I wore this shirt, and my friend's said they all planned on getting me it. The YouTube video is my love (which this shirt is based off of), and it has my two favorite things - cats and dancing! This girl isn't happy to be wearing such a beautiful shirt, but then again she's a hot topic model so I understand. haha

On a less enthusiastic note, because I have to screw up somehow:
I didn't go to my fifth hour class today because I just didn't want to.. I guess I ditched. So me and my friend went to the dance room to help with the beginning dance class. I get home after I have rehearsal after school, and the school called my house. I got in trouble. The end.
Moral of the story: It's better to sit through a class that is way too easy, than to have the school call home and report an absence.

I'm old

2009-04-08T17:32:00.001-07:00

happy birff day

I get older, but some things never change

2009-04-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

In 3 hours and 35 minutes it's my birthday.
Thinking back, I realized I spent about 95% of being 15 focusing on dance. I've grown extraordinarily as a dancer and found MY style. Dance has kept me sane.. and sometimes it makes me go crazy. It definetly drives my family crazy when I have to go multiple times a week. I will continue dancing through age 16, 17, 20, 32, and so forth. I don't care how much I have to work for it, but I will make it one day.

2009-04-06T18:12:00.001-07:00

but my heart was racing
my mind was screaming
you've got your whole life
to do these things

- Christofer Drew, Losing It.

All I've wanted to do the past few weeks (or like ever since February) is grow up. I don't take time to be a kid anymore at all. And I'm counting down until I graduate.Tomorrow is my last day being 15, and I feel like this was the last year I had to be juvenile. I know once I AM living on my own and doing the "adult" shindig, I will want life to be like how it is now. You always want what you can't have? I guess I want to stop relying on my parents, brother, and friends. I am very independent, and just want to do my own thing.

The older I get, the less I want to depend on other people.

P.S. He's beautiful

lobster bisque

2009-04-05T19:31:00.001-07:00

my left leg and arm looks like a lobster. i should've put on sunscreen

It's simply decadent

2009-04-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

THIS muthaa fuccccka. (long story)
Me and my friends had a sleep over last night :) Because sometimes you just have to regress to eating junk food all night / morning. I had nice clean fun, opposed to going out and partying with people I hardly even know (like I was going to Friday night).

STORY TIME:
Today I was waiting in line, to pay for my aquamarine colored v-neck. The cashier said she could help whoever's next in line, and I was next. But some old freakin stickuptheass grandpa YELLS at me "THERE'S A WHOLE LINE OF PEOPLE" So i say "ok sorry." Does the old fart shut up after this? NO. He continues to complain to the people who work at the store (let me just say I was at Forever 21.. why was an old guy shopping at forever 21 alone?). He continues saying all this blasphemous things to the employees like "YOU GUYS NEED TO OPEN ANOTHER LANE. HURRY UP SO WE CAN ALL GET ON WITH OUR DAY."
Is he freakin crazy? There was barely anyone in line, and there were like 5 cash registers open.

Some people make me so mad. Go take your meds old man. He was out of line.

Commitment

2009-04-02T16:55:00.003-07:00

I told my friend to make a list of all the animals he could think of, and he's making me make a list of things that start with "j". So let's get crackalackin. I haven't even thought of anything yet. I'll be adding more throughout April when a radom word comes along. Im a nerd. NO DICTIONARY CAN BE USED.

juice, jumper, jam, jupiter,january, june, july, jewish, justice, juniper, jizz, jazz, jump, jeté, jerrycurls, just, jaunt, jack, jill, jim, jello, jelly, jabber, jen, jiffy, JUNO, justification, jigglypuff , jeopordy, jawbreaker, jag, jig, jail, juvenile, jog, jungle, jujubee, jubilation, jugular, jumbalaya, jesus, juxtaposition, job, jackpot, judge, jar, jaw, juggle, joint, Japan, journal, jester, jellyfish, jackass, jingle, jinx, jesus

add more in the comments

FML

2009-04-01T16:40:00.001-07:00

One of the worst days in a long time, and it's only going on 5 o'clock.

nice way to start off the month

2009-03-30T19:01:00.003-07:00

The bus was a success. Why is the sun so bright in Arizona at 6 freakin 30 in the morning? For all of April I'm going to try and blog everyday. I feel like I just skim the details of my life right now. Plus my birthday is on the 8th, so I want to start accounting the days of my new age.

newhouseisonhavetogooooo.

I'm illiterate at night

2009-03-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

I'm in desperate need of a camera. Every single picture off of this blog (that are mine) were taken from my phone. That doesn't even sound grammatically correct. Letting your hair grow out is a beeotch. ^^^ outfit from Saturday. The shorts were purple - i borrowed them from my thankfully same sized friend. I've never had a friend that is the same size as me, and trust me, we are taking advantage of each others' wardrobes.

The grand opening of the FREAKIN GINORMOUS Forever 21 by my house was Saturday. It's the largest one in Arizona. I had to go, just to see if it was really possible to upgrade the small one to two stories. Yeah it was bazarre, but I loved it. AND i fell in love there,, and it wasnt with a clothing item. haha

well i have to catch the bus in the morning, for the first time in 2 years. That'll be interesting.

A Romping Tweaker (you'll see..)

2009-03-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like writing. And I have a bad streaky spray tan. that's just how spring break goes. I have to go back to school tomorrow.. nuff said. spectacular romper and sandals from the lovely UO.
I have a huge dance production packet to do, when really all I want to do is this
Oh, and you need to go read Tweak by Nic Sheff. Now.

I have a pidgeon in my hair

2009-03-14T21:41:00.001-07:00

I've been sick (i sound like Gary off of spongebob) and run down the past few days - no actually weeks. For the past few weeks i've just been running myself ragged.

So what does one do on the first day of Spring Break, whilst being sick?
tan outside
watch youtube videos all day
eat,eat,eat
see the same sun chips commercial over 25 times but still be mesmerized by it each time
make a faux hawk

oh yes i did. haha dont mind the left side.. falling lope sided.
guurrrl work those uneven eyebrows and missing arm

there was no need for my hand to be on my head, its just a bad habit for pictures. The sides should have been sleeker.
But I didnt want to do it full out today, because i wanted to comb it out after I was done.

It's very simple to do (but kind of irritating if you have bangs and layers like me)

i don't button

2009-03-09T17:06:00.001-07:00

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight.

You have stolen my heart I wore this today. I'm kind of over my previous style. I feel more mature lately. Since when does satin and pearls signify maturity?
[the buttons are done up wrong in this picture. haha how sophisticated]

What I am wearing tomorrow:

You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

lyrics by Dashboard confessional

We are the champions (for once)

2009-03-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Beetlejuice and being amazed by how much my layers are growing out. I'm sick of short detached layers. I want long flowing hair.

Yesterday was Arizona State Competition.
For Pom we got .. *drum roll please* FIRST PLACE!! We're number one in state! woooootwooot.
For Jazz we got THIRD PLACE! Which is very good, considering we hated the costume / dance. haha

All our hard work paid off, and it's nice to see some positive results. VERY positive results. I had really bad bedhead the other day, and I'd thought I'd share. Everyone thought I just woke up. BUENOS DIAS!

i sat here trying to think of a title

2009-03-01T21:11:00.002-07:00

I'm thrown back into the real world.

Today I got back from Cougartown as a Counselor In Training (CIT).
The delegates who went from my school (it was their first time going) really helped me find myself. It was their experience (i already had mine), and I observed so many things. It confirmed that I want change. It confirmed that I love so many people. It confirmed that I am afraid. It scares me to have the responsibility of almost a hundred people looking at me for guidance and leadership. But I honestly feel that I did a very good job, and there's no "right" way to do it. Multiple people told me that I helped them, and it made me feel an emotion that I cannot describe. I feel accomplished. BUT I will only truely feel accomplished when we go back to school and the students spread their knowledge to the rest of the school. Because I feel one is needed.

"Cougartown doesn't change you. You change yourself"

I don't want other people be hurt by the pain I once felt.
I will say what I need to say, tell the people I love that I love them, and love myself.
I love you.
You are beautiful
I wanted to stand up and scream at you all.
why arent you doing anything
You have to be the change that you want to see
You cant help whom who like or love
Hobo Jim is going to come sleep in your sleeping bag

I became sisters with the strongest and most respectable brothers, and created a sisterhood with other women who have all had sorrows. Saying that I "met a lot of amazing people" isn't enough. That does not even cover the surface.

I realized that I have a deeper feeling of love for some. And want others to feel the same. But I don't fully understand. If anything, things got a lot more confusing. What happens when you realize a friend deserves a "title" greater than just a friend?

"I believe love is the answer. I believe love will find a way"

thats something i would say (jokingly)

2009-02-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

those signs terrify me

I dont deserve a title

2009-02-21T22:07:00.001-07:00

Guess what movie characters are on my most favorite blanket
P.S. buy me a labradoodle and i will love you unconditionally

2009-02-19T18:47:00.002-07:00

Schedule for next year. Junior at last.
The classes will be broken up into four per semester (8 total for the year).

In no particular order:

English III honors
Chemistry
Human Physiology
AZ/US History
Psychology

Sociology
Spanish I
Spanish II

Child Development

CANNOT WAIT! (no sarcasm)

let's pause life as it is

2009-02-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

I wish my whole life could be like this weekend. It cannot be described in words. Pictures better suit it - "a picture is worth a thousand words" as they say.
It sounds crazy, but I feel like a new person. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Like I can relax a little bit. I don't know if I should say everything that happened, but I want it to stay in my mind forever. Think of it as you wish.
I'm happy I get to see these 5 people everyday, I just wish everyday could have the aesthetic as our trip to California did. I threw my heart into the ocean because I'll never find love.

Buon giorno, Principessa!

2009-02-07T17:20:00.000-07:00

February is going to be hectic (and amazing) - it already has been.
On Wednesday I leave for California with my dance group. We're going to Disneyland, taking classes from Debbie Reynold's studio, and seeing Phantom of the Oprah. Oh my god.. did i just spell Oprah?... I'm not even going to correct it.
Then I have a week off, and then I'm going to Cougartown as a counsilor in training. Im so flippin excited - I haven't been able to contain myself for the past few monthes. the mere thought of it makes me so freakin hfdghjkdfghshfkljg.
This is what I do during College Algebra on a scientific calculator:
I'm fixing my hair to go back to how it used to be. It's at a really awkward stage right now, but will be worth it in the end.And now I will end with the awkward wrist of doom

Fail

2009-02-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

2009-01-29T11:57:00.001-07:00

This morning I looked gothic. It was horrible. But only my face did. My clothes were how I normally dress. See for your own eyes. HORRIBLE!! Ew. Just no. Never wearing black eyeshadow again.

this week has not been good. I cried almost all day yesterday.

Today was a half day so school ended at 10:20. what a waste.
In class we each wrote down 5 things we want to change about ourselves, then threw it across the room in a ball. And read someone else's. And we made a list on the board of all the insecurities written down.
Im pretty sure mine didn't get read outloud - or someone reworded what i wrote.
The other day my friend (who's in that class with me) told me he might have cancer. But doesn't find out until thursday. I hate this.

In love

2009-01-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Weekend

2009-01-25T20:33:00.001-07:00

eye color? brown and green
hair color? dark mahogany brown
height? 5'2 sukka!

~fill in the blank~
i have a crush on... christofer Drew
i want to be... an astronaut to escape the confines of gravity - playradioplay
i the time is... 8:31
the date is... January 25th ??
~random~
hello: bonjour
goodbye" why you leave so soon?
ice cream: i mad that they shut down the cold stone by my house
onomatopoeia: buzzz
glamorous: not fergie
fergalicious: trannylicious
sing: never
dance: always

Oh, And:
He looks like a bigger fruit now.

MMMM nothing

2009-01-24T20:09:00.001-07:00

I feel so bored lately. I guess a lot has happened, but I just let it happen and don't even care. I just dont even care. I just dont even care.
- Last Saturday we had State competition for pom and got fourth. No, we deserved AT LEAST third. We did really well, and the stupid blonde-bimbo-former-cheerleader judges were corrupt. CORRUPT I TELL YOU!! But im not a cheerleader, or even close to being one, so it doesn't matter
- I find out of i made it as a CIT (counsilor in training) for Cougartown on Monday
- My older brother went to the hospital last night because he crashed on his dirtbike. But he's okey now.
- Last Saturday we got a new kitten. He's like a mix between a polar bear and a white tiger. And is a pain in the butt. But cute - AND STEPPING ON MY KEYBOARD, THUS RUINING THE POST
My friend was taking pictures of me in the locker room before dance like 2 weeks ago, because I had a cow shirt on - this picture is goldenI stuck my hips out, leaned back, and nonchalantly looked over to the side. haha number one way to look amazingly silly in a photo.

and lately my nose is alternating between being stuffy and running.

Jay Asher (an author)

2009-01-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

[a part of an answer he gave at the back of Thirteen Reasons Why] -

It's also very important to be aware of how we reat others. Even though someone appears to shrug off a sideways comment or to not be affected by a rumor, it's impossible to know everything else going on in that person's life, and how we migt be adding to his/her plan. People do have an impact on the lives of others; that's undeniable.

Hello there :)

2009-01-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have no motivation for blogging. Well.. that got to the point.
I'm not going to delete this blog, because I love it dearly, but I might take a wee little break.

I've been going through a weird faze:
eating breakfast for dinner everyday.
not matching everyday (and liking it) - neons and darks. plaid and argyle.
techno 24/7.
meeting new people who are younger than me and getting along with them.

what an oddball.
By the way, I ate 10 jalapenos today and survived to tell the tale.

The Brave Little Toaster

2009-01-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen The Brave Little Toaster? It has a lot of life lessons and is really emotional. Not even lying to you. I used to watch it all the time as a kid.

Have you ever had a memory that you think is on the verge of imagination?
Like you can't be sure that it really happened, or if it was just something you made up. I get like that about a lot of movies from when I was a YOUNG kid (like 3 or 4). Sometimes I'm not sure if it was a real movie, or if I just made it up in my head.. The Brave Little Toaster is one of those movies, but i know that it's real. Thankfully.

Is there a hole in your heart

2009-01-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

Or am I mistaken. I can see your capillary veins.
you be the patient i'll be the surgeon
just like 1st grade on the playground all day.

- I am a Pirate, You are a Princess; Playradioplay

I ordered this dress and tights on Christmas day with my UO gift card (i got like 7 other things too), But it fits a little bit weird. It's really wide at the bottom - like a bell bottom, and I have to wear a belt with it around the waist. But other than poor fitting, the pattern is amazing. not even going to lie.

soon enough you'll hear the black top
calling your name every day your life
will never be the same the squirrel is my favorite, but there's a bunch of other woodland animals.

I'm going to wear it to school tomorrow, contrary to the fact that NO ONE wears heels.

This will be my cat

2009-01-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

Dony stop wont stop

2009-01-09T23:40:00.004-07:00

I just got back from my friend's 18th birthday party, and I'm really happy to have this group of friends. They dont drink, and are level headed. Yeah we get all crazy and act a fool all the time, but it's better than being intoxicated and not remembering what the heck even happened.
I just hope she had a good time, because she graduated early and only really sees her boyfriend most of the time.
But the party was good times, and I'm happy I went. But I epically failed at guitar hero. BUT laughing our faces off at this one stupid game we played made up for it.

When the brain wanders

2009-01-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a dream that you've woken up from, that has affected your day drastically? And it keeps popping up in your head all day and worries you?

This morning I woke up from a really realistic dream. It scared / annoyed / fascinated me, but I dont ever want it to happen. Not for my sake - I wouldnt care. But for everyone else's. So through out the day I kept on thinking about it over and over and over. And it make me sick - like physically sick (like a stomach ache from just thinking about it). Or maybe it was just a coincidence. I over analyze everything.
But im going to look up the components in my dream dictionary book, because Ive been thinking all day.

P.S. Raven it involves what we talked about over summer.

His collar bone amazes me

2009-01-08T19:48:00.002-07:00

i wrote that as a comment on thesartorialist

Man Up

2009-01-07T19:30:00.001-07:00

That's what this 7 year old girl was saying when she was dancing yesterday.
BUT she wasn't saying it to me, she was saying it to the guy that works at the studio. Guys need to be put in line sometimes, even if it's by a seven year old.
I had to do a thing about my life from birth until the future (like what we want to do) And I made my life seem happier than it is. Or maybe it really has been happy over all, and the individual bad days make it seem like I'm always depressed.

Anywhoo, I found some pictures from 2 years ago. And I look A LOT different now.

(click for bigger)

Blonde hair does NOT suit me at all. My face is all washed out and red, because we were at a water park all day and I was going to a dance.
It's so weird how someone can change over the course of two years.

excuse the face. haha
but that's how I looks now. My appearance / style has done a 180. And I like the drastic changes I've made over the years.

P.S. what color hair looks best on you?

Honey Im Home

2009-01-04T14:53:00.001-07:00

Today I got back from California. I was sick the whole time, but it wasn't a bad trip. I just hate driving for hours and hours (like 4).
We were in Newport Harbor and Balboa the first two days and then went to anahein for Supercross.. but i didnt go becasue I was on my deathbed.
Let me tell you, I felt like I was at an UGG Convention (i hope one doesn't exist). Everywhere I looked, someone was wearing Uggs. there's no originality.
I didn't get to take pictures because I got my phone taken away New Year's Eve.
HAPPY HAPPYYYYYYY JOY.. note the sarcasm?
Tomorrow I have to go back to school, and I still want the legwarmers below.

Stella McCartney for Adidas

2009-01-01T20:45:00.000-07:00

Her collaberation with Adidas is wonderful!
If you play a sport, do yoga, or dance I suggest you look into it. OR even if you just want comfortable clothes to work out in, or for just staying at home, her clothing and accessories are the thing that every girl and woman needs.

I really want these cream colored legwarmers.. like A LOT.

I cannot wait for this year

2008-12-31T19:31:00.003-07:00

to be over.
2008 = crap year.
except for yesterday (see post below)

*edit @ 10:58 PM:
P.S. my new year's resolution is to stop being such a grump. and to eat healthier.
I ended 2008 with a bang, by getting my phone taken away and crying for a long time. Mehh same old same old.

Day of Opportunities

2008-12-30T19:08:00.001-07:00

Today Lady Luck came knocking on my window. It's about time something good happened.
I got my haircut by an AMAZING guy. He's like.. I don't even know. Really freakin good.

The layers are mega short again. And the layers from the back are pushed to the front. Too crazy. ANYWAY! That's not the point. The point is, he wants to use me as a model for his photo shoot. So hopefully he'll follow through with it.

And I started dancing at the new studio by my house. And shooot, I am so happy that I did. The owner is pregnant and needs help (because she could injure herself and the baby if she dances too much). So she basically gave me a job teaching her classes for her. Woop woop!! It's just what I wanted. But instead of getting paid with money because she's tight on cash, I get to take as many classes as I want. Which is better than money right now.

Stuff like this rarely happens to me.
And I feel greatful that I am getting opportunities like these.

Skins

2008-12-28T20:08:00.001-07:00

Im shakin in my boots for the new series to start. Although they could never replace Maxxie and Chris and Cassie and Toni and Jal and Michelle and Sid and you get the point.
Meet Freddie (from the new series [3]).. he reminds me of someone I know /
knew..

It's really scary.. Yeah he's a made up character, but it feels like they based his character off of who I knew. he looks like him too.

Im bamboozled now.

Baby Anne Marie

2008-12-27T13:26:00.001-07:00

My fashion sense was impeccable for a 3 year old.
LOOK HOW FREAKIN CHUBBY MY CHEEKS WERE!

How did I go from that, to this?

When Im an old lady, Im probably going to wonder why I made certain choices, or dressed a certain way (like how I do now). But I won't regret anything. Because really, I like who I am right now (well there can be an attitude adjustment). And hopefully my old grandma self will say "daaaang I was one strappin lad."

wind can die

2008-12-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

It's been really windy ever since last night. And the sound is annoying.
I'm tired and cold and not in the mood. Happy that its just my family home today - aka all the relatives left.
Christmas went by so fast: you prepare for it for a while, and then it's gone in a few hours. But I really appreciate everything I got - even though it's not all about receiving gifts and what not.
Here's a few things that were near each other, so I just arranged them for a photo

I watched Across the Universe (for the 50th time), while a bunch of people were over. Whatever I like Jude and Max way better than people I don't even know. :]
The first time I saw it last year, it was love at first sight.

The best thing I got was money to pay for dance classes at the new studio that's like a minute away from my house. My friend works there, and hopefully by summer I can have a job demo-ing for her or something.

It's really cold outside, and windy. And this blogger is extremely tired.

Happy Holidays Everyone!
(now we just have to get through New Years)

"Hey Mom do you want me to tell you something to get you mad?"

2008-12-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

That's what I say every Christmas. >:D
Following that, I start laughing really bad and then say "It doesnt even feel like Christmas."
It gets my mom sooo mad. And makes me laugh because I dont mean it.
This morning we actually slept in until 5:30. And we still have to do the Santa thing, because of my little brother. But this is basically his last year of believing
(shun the non believers).
Today went well. I just kinda went about the day. Dinner [well lunch] was amazing though.Then BAM - at around 8 o'clock i got really hyper. and now im crashed.

i'll take pictures tomorrow.
A marathon or house is on until 2 o'clock tonight.
AND it's on all day tomorrow. I'll go more into the festive details tomorrow.

Strange

2008-12-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

Last night my dad had to take our kitten to the vet because he's been sick for three monthes. and no matter how many times we've taken him prior to last night the idiot vet always said to just give him time to get better.
But we couldnt let him suffer any longer, so i guess my dad took him to an emergency vet place. I was asleep and had no clue. Just showd how oblivious i am to things.
They said that his Kidney was failing and he died. I never got to kiss him goodbye.

This was during the day yesterday, hours before he died. It's strange, because I've never really taken pictures of him, but something was telling me to. RIP Jimmy. Iloveyou.

Today's outfit

Worn out skinny jeans, mom's gladiator esque heeled sandals, flowy white blouse dress These last two were not edited at all (nor was Jimmy's). Love how eerie they came out.

P.S. Blogger is looking really strange lately.. doesnt it?

te interwebz

2008-12-19T05:05:00.001-07:00

My rubber[head]band, it gives me powers.
But it causes a headache after a while. but its worth the pain because I love it.
Computer makes me go 'ehh?' notice the brow furrow.

but then again it makes me smile. especially lolcatsss

awkward arm/hand thing

2008

2008-12-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

Was an odd year. I was going to stay that it went by fast, but it really didn't. So much happened, I'm pretty sure I couldnt remember it all.
But I'll try.. just not now. House is on and it absorbs my attention.

Today I bought Britney Spears' album and I must say, it is really good!
It sparked me to start choreographing a bunch of random stuff

A little mermaid shirt, spandex, a scarf, and holiday socks. It cant get much better than that. - no i didnt go out into public :]

Oh shoot I gotta go! this is getting intense (House).

Winnie the Pooh is wisdom

2008-12-17T19:59:00.002-07:00

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

“I used to believe in forever, but forever is too good to be true.”

I Survived

2008-12-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

finals (almost). Hallelujah!
I finished my topics finals, and there's no way I can fail the class because I have a 91%. That was reassuring when I didn't know half the questions on the test. But Part 2 (word problems) was super easy for some reason.
In English we didn't have an exam. BUT we have to rewrite a scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream and act it out without our script at hand. What the eff, this isnt drama class. My group's scene is all ghetto. It's really funny.
Biology had 100 questions and i was buggin out!! I forgot everything we learned. and we still have another exam. Oh well I have a 98.

Notice the pattern of me not caring about exams because I have a good grade :P

And lastly, in dance tomorrow we have a choreographer coming in.

The end.

LET WINTER BREAK BEGIN!! wooo yeah!!

maybe it's just in my head

2008-12-13T15:21:00.001-07:00

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

- This Woman's Work, Kate Bush

I do not feel good at all today. All I've done is clean, eat, and watch a movie. And a few minutes ago I was in the worst pain ever. I always get really sick whenever I eat. It happens often, and i hate it.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

How can one little body have so much waste inside?

My dance warm up jacket from last year's competition group has been so comfortable lately. [BTW i did a few quad turns today, without flopping around. they looked good if i do say so myself]

And now I have to read A Separate Peace. shoot me now.
it's going to make me feel sicker.

easy as apple pie

2008-12-11T16:18:00.001-07:00

i got my permit

change

2008-12-09T20:52:00.003-07:00

Have you ever had that one talk with a friend that changed your friendship? Not an arguement, but more of just telling the truth about how you see your friendship. And the truth that the other person told was not what you thought it would be? And you just have a feeling that this one talk has broken your friendship apart, but might make your friendship stronger (hopefully).
Its strange how a new relationship can start one day (whether it be making a new friend or whatever), but at the same time another can possibly end.

2008-12-09T17:06:00.000-07:00

1. One book that changed your life? Harry Potter [dont laugh]
2. One book you have read more than once? Just Listen by Sarah Dessen [sooo good.]
3. One book you would want on a desert island? A Midsummer Night's Dream
4. One book that made you laugh? It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini [its really depressing but makes me laugh]
5. One book that made you cry? Echo by Francesca Lia Block
6. One book you wish had been written? how to break up with a guy because you dont like them but don want to hurt their feelings.
7. One book you wish had never been written? A Separate Peace
8. One book you are currently reading? A Separate Peace (haha)
9. One book you have been meaning to read? An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

cant complain at the moment

2008-12-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

- Jim Morrison (its his birthday today)

That quote is so amazing. its the first time I've read it, and i just can't stop thinking about how true it is.

On the other side of the spectrum, my hair is being a wild child. but for some reason everyone liked it today. it has grown sooo much. but its lovely - my bangs are too long, but still. im not getting it cut until 2009 because that's a fresh start. im so odd sometimes.

i look bored with life. but in reality, its really exciting at the moment.

the recitals went well. but BOY AM I HAPPY THAT CRAP IS OVER!!
it wore me out so much. girl (or boy) you dont even know. Im pretty sure my body's energy is gone - im like running on empty (like a car).

and now here is a pose that my guy friend always does:

it cracks me up

let your memorie grow

2008-12-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

stronger and stronger.
til they're before your eyes.

-The Call, Regina Spektor

a postsecret that i like.

what rehearsal does to me

2008-12-02T20:28:00.001-07:00

this is how i look after only five hours of sleep. then having to go to rehearsal for dance and being at school for 12 hours daaang i look busted - there is dark brown make up under my eyes and on my neck.
I really hope the recital goes well. because i've worked hard and the teachers are beeeeeeeeeotches.
ive gotten in BAD arguements and lost friends because of dance, gained new friends that i love, and met some pretty amazing people. I think i've really grown as a dancer, and gotten a better attitude towards some things because of dance. yeah im still a brat and get fired up, but overall i just feel so free and alive when im dancing.
ive been doing it for a little over 5 years, and i'll keep doing it until i can no longer walk. and even when i'm bedridden, i'll be bustin a move and dancing even better without moving my legs <3

i found nothing new

2008-12-02T20:13:00.000-07:00

1. What’s your name? Anne Marie
2. What is your favorite thing to wear? skinnies and a loose fitting top, slip on vans. sooo comfortable
3. Last thing you ate? mud slide ice cream from starbucks
4. One place you will NEVER eat at? i'll find something to eat anywhere
5. I say Shotgun, you say: "im too lazy to say shotgun"
6. Last person you hugged? Brian
7. Does anyone you know wanna date you? ... yes. i dont wanna talk about it. haha
8. Would you date anyone you met online? thats kinda risky
9. Name something you like physically about yourself: my eyes
10. The last place you went out to dinner to? i cant remember!!
11. Who is your best friend? elizabeth.. but we get in fights a lot
12. What time of the day is it? right now 7:51
13. Who/What made you angry today? this girl Lucy
14. Baseball or Football? NEITHER
15. Ever gone skinny dipping? no thank you
16. Favorite type of Food? sour straws
17. Favorite holiday: Christmas
18. Do you download music: yes but i need more itunes money
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty? i dont even wear socks. only like folded half way in dance and they are gross after a day or two
20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? duuumb
21. Would you date the person that posted this? idk ?
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? yes!!
23. Do you love anyone? i only truely love a few people
24. Are colored contact lenses sexy? no somethimes they look fake and cheesy
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? no but i want to
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? no there are diseases in water
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? yes, drunk guys in vegas
28. How many pets do you have? 3 cats
29. Have you met a real redneck? yeah they crazy!!
30. How is the weather right now? AMAZING!! its cold and cloudy. but then again its sunny
31. What are you listening to right now? BRITNEY SPEARS ON THE RECORD (on MTV) <3
32. What is your current favorite song? 30 days by nevershoutnever
33. What was the last movie you watched? probably Juno.
34. Do you wear contacts? yes - cannot live without them
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? school (i was at school for 12 hours. how is that humane?)
36. What are you afraid of? i have no fears. probably of the unknown
37. How many piercings have you had? 2 in each ear
38. What piercings do you want? a third piercing in my ears and cartilage
39. What’s one thing you’ve learned this year? dont take yourself too seriously, because then you look like you have a stick up your butt. and the fact that i will get over almost anything within like 4 days
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks? coffee makes me sick
41. What Magazines are you reading? i read NYLON and teen vogue
42. Have you ever fired a gun: no i HATE guns
43. Are you missing someone? my grammy <3
44. Favourite TV show? skins
45. Do you have an obession with WoW? thats gross. im not that geky
46. Has anyone said you look like a celebrity? yes
47. What celeb do you look like? people say i look like Addie from Unfabulous (julia robert's niece in real life)
48. Who would you like to see right now? no one
49. Favorite movie of all time? the little mermaid
50. Do you find yourself loved? nope
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t suppose to? yes like everyday at school
52. Favorite smell? vanilla. feel free to get me candles and lotion and what not
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? regular
54. What’s something that really bugs you? everything
55. Do you like Michael Jackson? all his songs are the same
56. Taco Bell or Burger King? Taco Bell
57. What’s your favorite perfume? ralph lauren romance
58. Favorite baseball team? baseball can die ;]
59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number? i dont think there are 1-900 #'s in the U.S. ?
60. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep? just a night. although now i can go daaaays
61. Last time you went bowling? dang like over a year ago. but i playeda few days ago on wii
62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? with like 100 other people in a cabin
63. Who was your last phone call? my mom
64. Last time you were at work? dont gots me a job
64. What is the closest orange object near you? the "publish post button"

shaking in my boots

2008-11-30T19:21:00.001-07:00

I am an angry little girl.
HOW does one forget that their favorite band / singer is coming into town? Oh, i know - probably because family was over all week and i got lazy stuffing my face. grrrr.
Christofer Drew (nevershoutnever) is playing a show Phoenix today at 8 o'clock. that's in like 40 minutes. and i only remembered like half an hour ago. WHY WHY WHY.
now i dont get to hear or see him.
and he lives in FREAKIN MISSOURI, SO ITS NOT LIKE HE'S GOING TO BE NEARBY ANYTIME SOON.

yeah lets just post really good pictures of him to make it even worse sighthat is NOT how i am feeling right now. [taken like yesterday with my a fake mustache]

and now my foot's asleep. why. why.

i am so furious with myself right now.

Do you carry the moon in your womb

2008-11-24T15:58:00.001-07:00

someone said that you're fading too soon
drifting and floating and fading away.
- Porcelain, The Red Hot Chili Peppers
This song is so dismal but eloquent. I really want to do a dance to it. But it would get emotional. Which is good.

are you wasting away in your skin

little lune .. all day

nodding and melting and fading away

Basically gushing over good looking people

2008-11-22T18:59:00.001-07:00

Edward: What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?
Bella: No, not the moats.
My mom said I was giddy throughout the whole movie (Twilight). I agree. It was the first time I've admitted to my parents that a guy is gorgeous/ handsome. AND THEN I was saying how Bella was bland in the movie and my mom said "Oh you're just jealous because she got to work with him [Robert Pattinson]." I didn't argue.

Right now I'm supposed to be at a surprise party, but things got complicated. Well I made them complicated. First I wasn't going to go, then I wanted to go (but not really). Then a few of my friends weren't going (but were going in the first place), so I didn't go. But I still got her a gift. Do I feel bad? Nope.
So I got all dressed up for nothing. Oh well I can wear it to school on Monday.

It's like a mauve colored drapy (jeez that's not a word) top, with dark wash skinnies (story of my life), and cream colored slip ons.
How boring. I'm like stuck in a rut.

What should I really be doing right now instead of watching ANTM?
Writing a HUGE essay for english that is due Monday.
mehhh i'll do it tomorrow if i feel like it.
Get off my back I have straight A's.. and I dont put forth any effort anymore.

OH! and I simply ADORE Marjorie. She's my idol

[and looks even better with darker shorter hair. AND LOOK AT THOSE BALLET SLIPPERS!!]

Transportation can just perish

2008-11-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

School is 4 minutes away from my house. I only have to ride the bus after school, and there's only two stops ahead of me. Not bad at all.
SO WHY THE HECK DID IT TAKE 45 MINUTES TO GET HOME TODAY?!
Someone got pulled over (they weren't dangerous or anything) so the bus driver decides to go another way thats WAYYY out of out route. How is that humane?
So I was trying to be all sneaky and take pictures because I had nothing better to do, whilst 50 or 60 other people are sitting all around me. This is the result: I love how there's a ray of light shining upon me - while I look so irritated. The sun was lovely, but it was making me sleepy. I probably looked like I was on drugs because I was acting all paranoid and sleepy / mad.
At least there was an escape hatch right above me.

But THIS little thing is mind numbingly easy to read.Knowing that I sould have my permit by next week eases the anger I have towards vehicles.This was before school this morning, when I was in a good mood and had nothing to rant about. I wore all black and cream colored shoes. How somber. And those shoes hurt my feet so bad - but were only $5 so I deserved it.

if you close your eyes long enough you'll see light

2008-11-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Skins has engulfed my life. I'm obsessed. The past four days I've watched both seasons.
Maxxie, Effy, Anwar, Chris, Cassie - every single person is lovely, but those 5 are my favorite.
But Sketch can just fall of the face of the planet.
Look im getting all emotional about a show.
By the middle of the second episode in season one, I was convinced that Cassie was insane [she is], but some of the things she says are just so amazing - insane but has an aesthetic about it.

how completely mental but i love her all the same.
BUT she gets me so mad when she messes with everyone's minds.

i can haz no face?

2008-11-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

That was this morning before school with my cozy new jacket and backpack on. The lighting was magnificent (but a little too bright).

Today was not good times. First hour was intense. I'm really sick of this girl who thinks she knows everything. But she needs to walk in other people's shoes to get a real understanding. Ughhhhhhhh.
In dance I hurt my neck so effing bad, so every so often I'm screaming out in pain. And tomorrow are auditions. How lucky am I.
The rest of the day was just whatever, but my friend gave me the nickname "Ugly". I told him its an oxymoron.

Confession

2008-11-16T18:13:00.001-07:00

David Beckham isn't married to Victoria Beckham anymore.
He's with me. See, he even has a tattoo of me on his side. What more proof do you need? Anyway. We got 2nd place for state qualifiers. Now we have to go to state.. obviously (for pom). Joy to the world

THIS IS WHY

2008-11-14T18:43:00.002-07:00

I DON'T TRUST PEOPLE.
NO FRIENDSHIP IS GOING TO BE 100 PERCENT PERFECT. AND I ACCEPT THAT AND WILL GET OVER WHATEVER IS GOING ON.

BUT SOME PEOPLE JUST ACCUSE AND ACCUSE AND ACCUSE AND ACCUSE AND BLAME AND BLAME AND BLAME.