March 1, 2009

i sat here trying to think of a title

I'm thrown back into the real world.

Today I got back from Cougartown as a Counselor In Training (CIT).
The delegates who went from my school (it was their first time going) really helped me find myself. It was their experience (i already had mine), and I observed so many things. It confirmed that I want change. It confirmed that I love so many people. It confirmed that I am afraid. It scares me to have the responsibility of almost a hundred people looking at me for guidance and leadership. But I honestly feel that I did a very good job, and there's no "right" way to do it. Multiple people told me that I helped them, and it made me feel an emotion that I cannot describe. I feel accomplished. BUT I will only truely feel accomplished when we go back to school and the students spread their knowledge to the rest of the school. Because I feel one is needed.

"Cougartown doesn't change you. You change yourself"

I don't want other people be hurt by the pain I once felt.

I will say what I need to say, tell the people I love that I love them, and love myself.
I love you.
You are beautiful
I wanted to stand up and scream at you all.
why arent you doing anything
You have to be the change that you want to see
You cant help whom who like or love
Hobo Jim is going to come sleep in your sleeping bag

I became sisters with the strongest and most respectable brothers, and created a sisterhood with other women who have all had sorrows. Saying that I "met a lot of amazing people" isn't enough. That does not even cover the surface.

I realized that I have a deeper feeling of love for some. And want others to feel the same. But I don't fully understand. If anything, things got a lot more confusing. What happens when you realize a friend deserves a "title" greater than just a friend?

"I believe love is the answer. I believe love will find a way"

1 daisies:

lam said...

I love you, you are amazing.

And i loveeee your header thing. Is that a strawberry shortcake backpack?
Its its not i'm gonna be sad :8}