that's what you get

i cant promise you anything
i know yeah i'm slow
i sleep the best in cold
dreams are the place to be
- Saturday by chris Garneau

whywhywhy. I just want the year to be over. Two more days. This is a little view of how the days have been going. (the one above included) Wow. The most relevant song just came on. Eff you Relient K.

who i am hates who I've been

Make it happen. But how? Get over it, and move one.
I want to be frank and tell you this statement above.

Hi, I'm Frank. I wish..

I sound legitimately crazy. I'm not i swear.

it's a bipolar kind of day

This morning I woke up at 4:30 and almost started getting ready for school. But I forced myself back to sleep and had a dream I was using bleach to brush my teeth. I looked up what the meaning of bleach was in my dream dictionary, and it makes sense.

]In dance we were doing a seance in the auditorium. It really didn't scare me because nothing happened. People had bad energy in the room.

During lunch me and my friend just sat stagnant. But then her boyfriend came over and she got all googly eyed with love and I got depressed. I honestly didn't get jealous, but it was more like I was so happy that she could STILL have those special feelings 8 months into their relationship. It gave me hope for the world. haha

Then at the beginning of math I started crying because I was so overcome with emotion and I feel so lonely (not friend wise). Then I was laughing because I finally admitted to myself that I am lonesome.

I came home had a screaming match with my mom and then went to sleep.
Woke up and went to a party for dance with the ones I love. ♥
We play dress up when we aren't summoning ghosts in dance.

With this face is how I get the men

This is how I feel about school and finals right now: Why do teachers choose the worst weekends to assign projects?

Ok ok I have to go back to writing my cultural research paper on Slovenia.
But wait, I'm getting distracted as I type this very sentence by a show about sex appeal. It's a scientific study. Oooo lala.

I feel like I neglect my blog when blogger home not set at my homepage.

Oh, and and while we're on the topic of sex appeal (i guess), would you ever date someone who's a year younger than you and your friends are telling you not to because he's in a grade lower?
Not that it pertains to me or anything wait what?

I have too many facial expressions.

best post ever.. maybe. maybe not;

Let me just say that my throat and head hurts so bad. It's just pulsing like the energizer bunny is beating my face in.
On a happier note, I had to dance in a Broadway choir show today.My friend (on the right) is a hippie and I love her. We're double the trouble when we're together. Actually, we cannot go a day without laughing and appreciating each other's company. I love my dance friends more than any other friends. They understand me better. Oh what the heck, no one understands my ways of thinking. But I'm ok with that because life is like a box of chocolates.

Writing the first sentence of this post made me realize that I complain A LOT. It needs to stop because I don't intentionally mean to do it. Complaining just kind of happens.

Why am I still awake at 11 o'clock on a school night?
- School doesn't start until 11:20 tomorrow.

What kind of schooling system allows high schoolers to go to school for only THREE hours? and then we don't even have school Friday. wow.

Who get's mad about that? me. Why? because my head is pounding and I have Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson stuck in my head.

Big Edie (from Grey Gardens) has words of wisdom for me:

Edith "Big Edie" Bouvier Beale: Will you shut up? It's a goddamn beautiful day, shut up!

true story

see more Funny Graphs

If one more picture gets cut off I'm going to cut someone.

THE KEY ON THE SIDE SAYS:
waiting for computer to read floppy disk
being afflicted with dysentery
learning
killing three tons of buffalo and squirrels

who else agrees?

I'm a rebel

Today I wore this shirt, and my friend's said they all planned on getting me it. The YouTube video is my love (which this shirt is based off of), and it has my two favorite things - cats and dancing! This girl isn't happy to be wearing such a beautiful shirt, but then again she's a hot topic model so I understand. haha

On a less enthusiastic note, because I have to screw up somehow:
I didn't go to my fifth hour class today because I just didn't want to.. I guess I ditched. So me and my friend went to the dance room to help with the beginning dance class. I get home after I have rehearsal after school, and the school called my house. I got in trouble. The end.
Moral of the story: It's better to sit through a class that is way too easy, than to have the school call home and report an absence.

A Romping Tweaker (you'll see..)

I don't feel like writing. And I have a bad streaky spray tan. that's just how spring break goes. I have to go back to school tomorrow.. nuff said. spectacular romper and sandals from the lovely UO.
I have a huge dance production packet to do, when really all I want to do is this
Oh, and you need to go read Tweak by Nic Sheff. Now.

We are the champions (for once)

I'm watching Beetlejuice and being amazed by how much my layers are growing out. I'm sick of short detached layers. I want long flowing hair.

Yesterday was Arizona State Competition.
For Pom we got .. *drum roll please* FIRST PLACE!! We're number one in state! woooootwooot.
For Jazz we got THIRD PLACE! Which is very good, considering we hated the costume / dance. haha

All our hard work paid off, and it's nice to see some positive results. VERY positive results. I had really bad bedhead the other day, and I'd thought I'd share. Everyone thought I just woke up. BUENOS DIAS!

i sat here trying to think of a title

I'm thrown back into the real world.

Today I got back from Cougartown as a Counselor In Training (CIT).
The delegates who went from my school (it was their first time going) really helped me find myself. It was their experience (i already had mine), and I observed so many things. It confirmed that I want change. It confirmed that I love so many people. It confirmed that I am afraid. It scares me to have the responsibility of almost a hundred people looking at me for guidance and leadership. But I honestly feel that I did a very good job, and there's no "right" way to do it. Multiple people told me that I helped them, and it made me feel an emotion that I cannot describe. I feel accomplished. BUT I will only truely feel accomplished when we go back to school and the students spread their knowledge to the rest of the school. Because I feel one is needed.

"Cougartown doesn't change you. You change yourself"

I don't want other people be hurt by the pain I once felt.
I will say what I need to say, tell the people I love that I love them, and love myself.
I love you.
You are beautiful
I wanted to stand up and scream at you all.
why arent you doing anything
You have to be the change that you want to see
You cant help whom who like or love
Hobo Jim is going to come sleep in your sleeping bag

I became sisters with the strongest and most respectable brothers, and created a sisterhood with other women who have all had sorrows. Saying that I "met a lot of amazing people" isn't enough. That does not even cover the surface.

I realized that I have a deeper feeling of love for some. And want others to feel the same. But I don't fully understand. If anything, things got a lot more confusing. What happens when you realize a friend deserves a "title" greater than just a friend?

"I believe love is the answer. I believe love will find a way"

Schedule for next year. Junior at last.
The classes will be broken up into four per semester (8 total for the year).

In no particular order:

English III honors
Chemistry
Human Physiology
AZ/US History
Psychology

Sociology
Spanish I
Spanish II

Child Development

CANNOT WAIT! (no sarcasm)

I Survived

finals (almost). Hallelujah!
I finished my topics finals, and there's no way I can fail the class because I have a 91%. That was reassuring when I didn't know half the questions on the test. But Part 2 (word problems) was super easy for some reason.
In English we didn't have an exam. BUT we have to rewrite a scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream and act it out without our script at hand. What the eff, this isnt drama class. My group's scene is all ghetto. It's really funny.
Biology had 100 questions and i was buggin out!! I forgot everything we learned. and we still have another exam. Oh well I have a 98.

Notice the pattern of me not caring about exams because I have a good grade :P

And lastly, in dance tomorrow we have a choreographer coming in.

The end.

LET WINTER BREAK BEGIN!! wooo yeah!!

i can haz no face?

That was this morning before school with my cozy new jacket and backpack on. The lighting was magnificent (but a little too bright).

Today was not good times. First hour was intense. I'm really sick of this girl who thinks she knows everything. But she needs to walk in other people's shoes to get a real understanding. Ughhhhhhhh.
In dance I hurt my neck so effing bad, so every so often I'm screaming out in pain. And tomorrow are auditions. How lucky am I.
The rest of the day was just whatever, but my friend gave me the nickname "Ugly". I told him its an oxymoron.

The Title is not Important

The last 2 days (and today) have been ridiculous. I'm so tired and have reached my point of just giving up. My eyes are so tired that they are watering and my nose is running (like when you cry). But I'm not really crying. And it looks like I got punched in my left eye.
Sleep has been taken away from me since Monday night. hmmpfh.
*insert a bunch of yawns* okey lets carry on.
Too much crap has happened since Tuesday. I'm not friends with my "best friend" anymore. I'm sick of her.
I'm stressed about our pom competition this Saturday (i hate pom so much and the coach knows it). Things should get better next week - hopefully, because this week has been so bad.

Today I finished Night by Elie Wiesel. The last sentence or so is amazing. Chapter 5 until the end was so intense.

I want to go to sleep right now but it's only 6 o'clock and I have to write something for english (which i probably wont end up doing).
And I'm upset they didn't choose "River Flows In You" for Bella's lullaby. I've been playing it over and over again and its making me even more tired. Way better than NyQuil and the sandman put together.

Schedules and Changes

OCD was in overhaul today. We filled out our possible schedules for next year (ahhh! only two more years left of school).
BUT next semester i will even have totally different classes than i do now
Next Semester:
World History
Performance Dance (i have it now too)
Lunch
College Algebra
Life Facs (which i was supposed to take last year but i didnt want to, but now i want to).

It looks like my legs are chopped off and im floating!! How amazing is that!!

Classes I chose for Junior year (next year):
English III Honors
AP US/AZ History
Human Physiology
Psychology/Sociology
Child Development
Spanish I and ll (ughhh I DO NOT want to take these two)
Oral Interpretations (the teacher is AMAZING, he's like my mentor)

but i'll have four of them for first semester and four second semester.

I was soooo indecisive while choosing my classes. I had to take out some classes that i REALLY wanted and I was not a happy person.

The very dreadful and unfortunate decision was made to stop doing dance at school. Im really depressed about it, but on the other hand, I need to take TWO foreign languages (wtf they dont have French at my school, how rude). So that being said, Im going to go back to studio next year and do conventions and competitions. Plus school's technique level isn't very high and we don't do ballet. And I want to get my pointe schoes.

A great accomplishment: I am going to be done with math after next semester. That deserves a slow clap.

Silly Rabbit

Trix are for kids. Oh the references..
My room has really bad lighting, because the sun is like shkjghfdkghf and my ceiling lights are terrible.
That's why I love sepia tone and black&white.

Dead corsage thing from the homecoming game (they actually won).
And I stole this picture of me from my friend (i tend to take my pictures from other people without them knowing). Love the border she set around it. Stupid pom. Blehh so happy football homegames are DONE.

Nothing new really. I was so tired in Topics of Algebra today, im pretty sure I fell asleep. What a horrible person ;)
Then this boy comes up to me and was like "Anne Marie you don't know how to do any of this huh?"
me: "Nope!"
him: "aww yeah i saw you over there sleeping like this"
(then he re-enacted how i was sleeping).

After school we went to Red Robin - their milkshakes make me so full :/ I hate it.

Now I sit by one of my friends in biology,, the teacher is probably like oh gaaaaahd. Because me and him are always making up like weird scenarios and telling stories. Good times.

Drifting

I feel like I'm not really connected to anything at the moment. I'm not really attached to any friends - I could live without them. All I want to do is dance and read. How many times have I said this? I I I I I i i Iii ii i .
I feel like I talk about myself too much. But it's my blog.. so uhh that's the point (?) ha I over-analyze things too much.

This week was a blur; a lot happened, but at the same time not much occured.So our beloved cat Tommy ran away. He was so young, only like 9 monthes old. Too stupid to find his way home. He had sucha good life, and hopefully he coms back because I miss that little rascal. Now I'm rather depressed. He would eat everything I did.

Yesterday was our last home game (thank you dear lord baby jesus). I fell on my back while mehh 4 feet in the air, my knees bled through my tights prior to this, and me and Jeremiah discussed boys together.

While I was gone, my parents got a teeny tiny kitten so our other cat Mikey won't be alone (since Tommy ran away). I guess his name is Jimmy. But I dont like that name. I call him Pudge. (because he is so little and scrawny).

I want to write a book right now - but am lacking experience.

Not Mine Those Glamour Gowns

Today has been so long. Decorating for homecoming (we will discuss that in a minute), drowsiness, and choreographing a solo for the recital.

Here's like five random seconds, but I'm not sure if i like it.
how simple. but im still iffy about this one part right there. whatevaaaa.

Don't I just look like a doll in this picture? just kidding.

what a wacko. and I'm not even sure when that was taken. Wednesday?

Today I had to decorate for homecomeing. Okey sure, BUT IM NOT EVEN GOING. So why should I have to put effort into something that I have basically nothing to do with?
And I swear if one more person asks me why Im not going / didnt go, I will probably just leave. Where will i go? I dont even know.
I could've gone with friends, but im a very bad planner. And I just didnt feel like going, because there are going to be over a hundred freshmen there and I just dont want to deal with all the rude girls and guys.
Although I wouldve liked to go with one person.
Enough said.

How Beautiful

Prepare for no sleep

This English essay can seriously die.

You can't change a zebra's spots

Grey Zebra oversized top
navy-ish skinnies
black flats
amazing scarf and rhinstone ring shaped like a bow. I call him Clarance. ^.^
School is very stressful at the minute.
English - research paper / debate is getting rediculous. Im still not sure how I'm going to transform my info into the actual paper. I need to do something creative with my life.
Dance - my teacher is a psycho betch. ughh. she made up put TAPE over our mouths today so we wouldn't talk. Next year I'm not trying out for performance at school - just going to go back to competitions at studio.

Right now im supposed to be at the school rehearsing for the homecoming halftime performance.. But I really don't want anything to do with that lady.